Moments leading up to, "It's a Girl!" ❤️💜

Obviously, we know you're a girl and how beautiful you are at 5 months old. You are thriving, and so happy. And growing faster than I ever thought was possible. I wanted to do this while pregnant but never got around to it. This is to share with you the moments leading up to finding out that I'd get to experience having you, my daughter. ❤️ When I first found out we were pregnant, I was curious if you were a boy or girl. But then I started thinking about how I didn't want to know. I want to be surprised because of a lot of the stuff that I had gone through the first time around for Kingston's birth. It took a toll on me mentally and not getting that special moment was really hard on me. I thought if all else fails and I don't get to have the special moments, at least it'll be special when we found out your gender during the birth. Then, further along, I really couldn't find a way to connect with you. I was so excited to be pregnant again, but every time I would try to envision what you would look like, and who you would become, it was really hard for me. I didn't decide that I wanted to know the gender probably up until I started doing my registry. I was looking for all the different neutral clothes, but nothing really just stood out to me from what I envisioned. I went back and forth on deciding if I wanted to know what you were or if I didn't. The day that we decided to schedule the ultrasound to find out if you were a boy or girl, even up until minutes before the appointment, I kept asking your daddy if he wanted to leave and wait. But in the end, we decided to find out. We really didn't care if you were a boy or girl, and honestly, I wasn't sure what you were. So they guessed girl and I guessed boy.

When we went and found out what Kingston was we automatically knew right away that he was a boy. As soon as they pulled up the ultrasound of you, we automatically knew you weren't a boy because nothing stood out. It only took a couple of seconds for them to say well it's a girl because we were farther along than normal people when they find out the gender. I was over 20 weeks at this point, which is over halfway. I'm not going to lie it took me probably a little while after the appointment to fully comprehend that I was having a girl. It wasn't because I didn't want a girl, but because I'm so used to having a boy and a couple of things made me nervous. And obviously, now after having you there really wasn't anything to be nervous about. I think just realizing that I was going to be a mother to a daughter worried me in the sense that I'm not a girly girl. I'm not a woman who enjoys wearing makeup, dressing up, going shopping, and all these girly things that society thinks a woman should be doing or just when you think about gender roles, in general. That's just not who I am. I'm more of a tomboy who would rather wear comfortable clothes, no makeup, etc. I was thinking about the future and what I would do if you wanted to be in the makeup and wanted to do girly things. Would I be capable of guiding you the correct way when it comes to those things? I won't be able to teach you how to do your makeup, but I would be the one to find products that are good for your skin that you would be able to play around with. I might not be able to enjoy wearing a really girly dress with you, but I would hype you up anytime you wore one. I don't enjoy wearing bows or even putting those on you currently, but they're starting to grow on me. And if you decide that you don't like both, and you'd rather have dirty hair, dirty nails, play in the mud, and go riding with your daddy and bub. Then girl, go on with your bad self. So once I was able to enjoy and love and mentally prepare for bringing home a little girl, I became way more excited. And it's weird because once I knew that I was pregnant with a girl, and the nervous thoughts went away, everything in my mind felt calm and I knew to kind of trust the process. I'm not going to lie because my pregnancy teased me all the way up until the end because I had never experienced the onset of Labor. I didn't get to this time, because I didn't want to go too many days past your due date. But my whole pregnancy with you, I questioned everyone and everything up until the point that I was ready to make my final decision which was the scheduled C-section. And I think being my own advocate helped way more this time around and the way that you're birth played out. I hope to guide you the same way one day. So now you're here, 5 months later. These were some of my thoughts leading up to finding out that you are a girl. So Cliff notes version I didn't want to find out the gender and then I did and then we found out you were a girl and then I became really excited about it. And you're perfect and beautiful and so happy and you smile all the time and you toot on me all the time. Etc 🥺😂

I love you very much, baby girl ❤️