I never thought I could love anything more until you came into this world.

Kingston’s Birth Story

My pregnancy journey was the easiest part of becoming a mother. Our little guy was so easy on me and I couldn’t wait to kiss his sweet face. I never thought I could fall in love so quickly until I laid eyes on him <3 My delivery and recovery is a different story. It’s still not the easiest to talk about but I know everything happens for a reason. We had made it to the whole 40 weeks + 1day with our little guy. On Friday, May 20, I went to see my doctor so she could check me for any changes. I was still 1cm dilated and 75% effaced like the week before. After the exam, she came in and asked when I wanted to have my baby boy. My response was as soon as possible!!! I was ready to meet him. I was told to be back at the hospital at 6am that coming Monday to be induced. I was so nervous and excited. Monday was supposed to be our son’s due date! I kept thinking how amazing that would be if he came on the day he was due. I came home that evening after my appointment and we got everything ready that weekend. My family came into town and we were hoping he’d come on his own, but he stayed stubborn. I kept imagining how amazing the moment would be when I gave birth to my son and got to hold him on my chest. Well, Monday came and Alex, my father, and I were at the hospital at 6am and they quickly got me hooked up to everything and started the Pitocin. The nurses came in and checked me about an hour later and I had only progressed a little. The contractions were barely noticeable and I knew I didn’t need the epidural yet. The nurses checked me about 2 more times after that and it just got more painful and uncomfortable each time. Around 9:30am the nurses and my OB came in to check me yet again and my OB told me they were going to go ahead and break my water to get things moving along. My water was broken at 2-3cm and it was the most painful part of the entire delivery. :/ Holy crap did this hurt. I waited till all the nurses left and I remember crying so hard. After a few minutes everything was okay, except that fact that it felt like I was peeing myself the whole time. haha It was the weirdest feeling.  About an hour or two after they broke my water, the contractions got a little stronger. They felt like really intense cramps, but I still was able to stand them and didn’t need an epidural just yet. After they broke my water I was terrified to be checked again so before they did I asked for the epidural even though I didn’t need it. After the epidural, I didn’t feel a thing. Getting the epidural the first time was a piece of cake. It didn’t take long at all for the epidural to kick in either so thank goodness. There were a couple times that the epidural wasn’t getting to my left side and I was feeling horrible contractions as they got stronger. I tried turning on my sides and that seemed to help a little.  As the contractions got stronger, the pain in my left side got worse. I was asked a few times if I wanted the epidural redone. I didn’t think it would help any but it got so bad I had no other option because I couldn’t take the contractions. I give props to Mothers who have their babies all natural because I couldn’t do it and I was only feeling it on one side. I don’t want to imagine what it feels like on both. They redid my epidural around 1am that next morning. It was harder getting the second epidural because my contractions were coming at a min apart. I had a hard time keeping still and it felt like they were taking forever. After the epidural, I was checked. At this point I had made it to 7cm.  Time had flown by and I was only progressing a little every couple hours. By 3 am the next morning, May 24, I had made it to 8-9cm and I was having chills. I had about 4 blankets that I had Alex put on top of me. I thought it was just the room getting colder, but the nurse came into check my temperature and vitals and I ended up having a fever. By 4am, I was still 8-9cm and the nurses came into talk to me about possibly having to have a C section. The nurse said, “It was about to be 12 hours since they broke my water and where I acquired a fever that this could be a sign of infection”.  He walked out and that was the second time I cried. After I found out I would have to have a C-section I did not want my family to come back into my room. I knew that it would only make me more upset because they knew how I wanted my delivery to be. I did not want a C-section. I had never had a surgery in my life and it terrified me. That was not my plan and it made me so upset. We were so close…

After more than 20 hours in labor, they started prepping me for a C-section. The nurse that I had that night and early that morning was the sweetest. She kept me calm and was telling me about what they are going to do. From this point on the C-section was considered a normal scheduled Cesarean.  The nurse had me lying flat in the bed as they were cleaning my stomach. All of a sudden, 5 other nurses and my doctor came rushing in. Kingston’s heart rate went below the bar and he was in distress. They were asking the nurse how she couldn’t have noticed it and they had me turn from side to side to try and get his heartrate back up. I remember there being so many people in the room. They were able to get his heartrate back up to the bar but was still very low. They put an oxygen mask on me and rushed Alex to get his mask and sterile coverings on and they quickly got me into the Operating Room. From this point on, it was now an emergency C section and everything became a little blurry to me. I remember the anesthesiologist poking me and asking me if I was numb. I could hear my doctor rushing him and he kept telling her that she needs to wait until he’s done. I was so nervous and I just kept looking at Alex and closing my eyes. I didn’t feel any pain, but the tugging sensation felt rough. It felt like I was being stretched. There was no pain, just pressure. Then all of a sudden I felt this sharp pain in my right shoulder. I found out after that it was the gas that they pump into you that was causing it. The anesthesiologist gave me something to relax me and from there everything became an even bigger blur. They quickly got our little guy out and I heard a very faint and sweet sounding cry. I remember looking at Alex and saying how sweet his cry sounded. 

Kingston Alexander Blatt born May 24, 2016 @ 5:15am. 7lbz 10oz & 20.5in long. They gave him to Alex and he brought him over by my side. He was so beautiful! And I was seeing double haha. I kept trying to touch his face and I was scared that I was touching his eye. I was in and out of it. I don’t remember leaving the OR because apparently after the surgery they had put him in my arms so I could hold him as they took me into recover. I don’t remember anything. I don’t remember posting his birth on face book and Instagram for my family to see. I don’t remember my family coming into see him. There are pictures and I’m awake but I don’t remember them. Everything from that first day is all a blur now. The second day I remember pain. Everything was so sore. I stood up and when they say it feels like your stomach is falling out, that is exactly how it feels. Now when I think of my experience I remember a burning and painful sensation, and blood. The worst is what I recall. I still cringe when I think about the surgery and see my scar. It wasn’t the best experience I know, but the most amazing little thing came out from it. I was so happy then and now, that he was born happy and healthy.  Our beautiful little guy was the only thing getting me through the first 3 weeks after the surgery. My emotions were all over the place the first couple weeks. I felt so much guilt and anger. I hated that I didn’t get to experience a moment I had always wanted. It was taken away. With all the emotions I had going on, I was also swollen more than I was when I was pregnant the first week after. But each day got easier like everyone said it would. I am now at 2 months postpartum and my little guy is a little over 2 months old and the most amazing little thing. He is so sweet and smiles all the time! I lost most my baby weight within the first 2 weeks. I started walking as soon as I felt I could and I started running at about 5-6weeks. I still am getting used to my scar and a part of my stomach feeling numb, but with every day that passes and watching our little guy growing, I appreciate it even more.

#csectionmama