You Got This Mama!

As a Mother to 1, I’m technically still a new mom, right? What is the cutoff when you aren’t considered a new mom? When they turn a certain age? When you have 2 kids or 3? My son is about to turn 18 Months and I'm continuously learning and have yet to feel like I have control of everything. And now, when I think about baby #2, it makes me wonder if I will ever have control again. I'm a semi-organized person. So when I need to be well organized I can be, but I'm still constantly questioning it all when it comes to being a Mom. Did I get everything? Think. Think. Am I doing this right? Why am I such a helicopter mom? I have put this car seat in a hundred times, but does it need to be tighter than this? Yes, tighter. Oh no! I forgot his snacks. I need to go back and get them. He should not be hitting me. Should I spank him for that? I shouldn't spank him. He probably doesn't even understand. I'm going to try time-out next time. I know it's just a cold, but my husband thinks we should take him to the doctor. What if it serious? I should trust my gut. 

(Que in anxiety)

All I want to do is make sure my son is healthy and turns into a loving gentlemen who is going to live the best life he can, being the best person possible. If there was a way I could go back and give myself advice before I had my son, here are some short and simple things I would tell a new mom, including myself.

Everything your feeling is normal.

If you feel like crying over what seems like nothing, it's normal. If you are happy and wonder why you don't have any other emotions like some mothers, it's normal. If you are scared shit less of becoming a new mom, it's normal. You’re tired and frustrated, but feeling so much amount of love towards this new human, it's normal. When people say everyone's pregnancy and motherhood journey is different, they are right. But there are so many of us out there that there is at least 1 if not more Mother's going through the same feelings as you are. If you ever question what your feeling is normal and you seem a little crazier, I'm telling you, it's normal. 

Take a Break. 

It's hard, I know. I still feel guilty if I have to ask my family if they can watch my son for any reason. 

You don't want to leave their side, ever. And even the times you seem like you may be going crazy and you need a minute to yourself, you start to feel bad. Don't do that to yourself. I constantly have to remind myself that Kingston is okay to play by himself for a few minutes and for me to take a shower. I usually shower when he's napping but the days that I'm busy I have to make myself remember, Hey you wonderful mother don't forget to eat and take care of yourself. So when you are ready. Yes, when YOU are ready. Let someone you know watch them. Even if it's for an hour so that you can get ready with some peace and quiet, or to loud music so you don't hear the Phantom cries (These are real, and NORMAL), do it! Take a break, for yourself, your relationship, and even your little family. 

Prepare yourself to learn a new kind of patience.

This is really the jest of it. You are going to get frustrated. You are not a bad mother if your child frustrates you. Motherhood is not easy, but it's worth everything and more. Just prepare yourself to get tested and even slapped by your babies. They will whine and scream at you even when nothing’s wrong (where I'm at currently with my son). Take a step back and relax. Step down to their level and be their comfort. This new kind of patience gets easier. 

Document as much as you want/can.

Take photos, videos, professional photos, pre and post pregnancy, delivery, and your overall journey. Motherhood is amazing. Document as much as you can! 

When they say it goes by fast, they aren’t kidding.

You are going to want time to slow down when you realize how fast it's gone by. 

Do what is easiest for you and baby.

There are so many topics I can put under here. Breast or formula fed, co-sleeping, non-co-sleeping, products you use on the baby, vaccinations. These are just a few topics (there are more) that people are going to put their two sense in and try and give you advice about. I'm not here to give you any advice on them but just to say, do what is easiest for you and baby. 

It’s okay to worry.

I repeat this to myself daily. This is a sensitive topic for me, so I don't want to rant. People are going to tell you constantly to not worry, stop worrying so much, etc. If you are a worrier, like me. After Kingston, this was one thing (including stress) that triggers anxiety for me. BUT IT'S NORMAL TO WORRY. That's all. 

Kiss them constantly.

Always! 

& Love yourself and the amazing mother that you are.

Yes, Yes, and Yes!!!!

There are so many more advice tips that I could write and that other mothers will tell you, but these are the ones that I wish were instilled in my brain before I had Kingston and now I remind myself daily of literally all these things. Probably in this same order.